The Third Sunday of Easter, April 18th, 2010
Acts: 1-6
Psalm 30
Revelation 5: 11-14
John 21: 1-19
My heart sings to you without ceasing; O Lord my God, I will give you thanks for ever." (Ps 30: 15) AMEN.
Today's long Gospel has four separate episodes. There's 1) the disciples' fishing narrative; 2) the beloved disciple's confession/identification/announcement that it is the Lord he is seeing; 3) the conversation between Simon Peter and Jesus of "feed my lamb; tend my sheep; feed my sheep," and 4) Jesus telling John the way he'd die and Jesus' command to "follow" him. It's part of the postscript of John's Gospel, and offers many directions to consider about discipleship.
John's announcement, "It is the Lord" matches Peter's announcement, but John's comment is post resurrection. His authoritative naming of Jesus as Lord, pairs him with Peter in leadership and knowledge, and shapes much of this Gospel as the reminder of Peter's epiphany about who Jesus is. However, Peter had disappointed Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. That failure, denial, and manifestation of human frailty must have echoed in Jesus ear as he was walking towards Calvary. Given that Jesus did remember his own memories at Emmaus, he must have still had Peter's denial in his ear-memory on this occasion. I think this morning's Gospel could instead be in several parts, like this.
Peter recognized in Jesus, "My Lord and my God." Peter was a leader, but it was also he who denied Jesus three times. Jesus died. The guys went back to fishing, and heard Jesus call them "Children" from the beach, and he told them not to give up. When the disciple whom Jesus loved identified him as the Lord, Simon Peter got spooked, flung on his clothes, and jumped into the sea. The guys hauled in the fish anyway, and unloaded them on shore, Simon Peter, recovering himself enough to help. Then Jesus had the long conversation with Peter about feeding my sheep.
I like numbers. Tempting as it is to discuss the deep meaning of 153 fish, I think more important is the three times Jesus asked Peter, "Do you love me?" In this Gospel, Peter assured Jesus three times that he did, as though Jesus were allowing or inviting him to undo the three times of denial. That caused me to consider this long story as being all about Peter.
Suppose we consider this whole Peter story as a kind of Jesus and everyman. Peter came along, following Jesus with enthusiasm. He caught the wonder of Jesus and proclaimed that Jesus must be the Lord. Peter was always there, and he grew to love Jesus, but he was still human. With the Roman army and Pilate's troops questioning him, he did a human, even a childish thing: he tried to hide from all the commotion by denying Jesus, not once but the three times Jesus had told him he would. It was a time of danger, stress, and fear, and he'd lost his faith in Jesus.
That made Jesus sad, but surely he would have understood Peter. He could even have had some thought that, after all, he had not yet shown himself so very different from other prophets. While he had done some miraculous things, in fact, so had some of them. Their miracles hadn't been up to those of Jesus, but there are several references in the Gospels to a kind of competition among miracle workers. Also Jesus had not done the kind of miracles to show off that the disciples, or the devil, had asked for. Consider the rational explanations we've come up with for the feeding miracles and the healing miracles. Maybe people really just had food with them; maybe those folk weren't as sick as advertised, and that a positive confident attitude had fixed their minor illnesses (like death.) When Peter was cornered, he might have thought perhaps Jesus wasn't unique. Jesus would have had Peter's denials, Peter's loss of faith or loss of understanding who Jesus was, drumming in his ears all the way to Golgotha.
Instead of making Jesus just sad for Peter, he could have also thought about how could Peter have denied him. Jesus could have been deeply angry or disappointed in Peter, but instead he must have wondered, "What would it take for Peter, for anyman to know that Jesus came from the Creator, know that the realm of God had in truth broken through? What would it take?" He could have repudiated Peter, but he didn't, and he must have had some understanding that Peter wasn't bad-just human.
Then in the scene this morning, the guys were fishing with no success. He came to them, and watched them from the beach. The guys were dispirited and had caught nothing. Given what Jesus had just experienced, he must have seen that fishing scene as a gentle game. Whatever he'd been doing between Good Friday and Easter, it must have been more complex than the guys out fishing. It looked simple-especially since they weren't shouldering big weights of fish. He called out to them, calling them, "Children," the only time he ever called them that. Again, he wasn't scolding them, but was observing that they were doing something not burdensome, but almost playful. He remembered that their fishing wasn't about afternoon outings with friends, but was life-giving industry for income and food. He watched for a while, and helped return the guys to working at their livelihood, their adult work: catching fish.
Peter, though, continued to act goofy. Why did he put on his clothes and jump in the sea? Was he scared, trying to hide, or did he not know what to do. He must have repeated those three denials to himself over and over and over. What was he supposed to say to the now-risen Lord? The disciple whom Jesus loved identified Jesus as "My Lord, My God." Hearing him, Peter must have remembered his own announcement to Jesus that he'd understood who Jesus was.
Jesus must have seen that whole story of Peter in his silly splash into the sea. Peter was often so impetuous, so eager, so human, and yet they were friends. Jesus must have understood that his friends were fallible, flawed, and fragile, and that they were the point of his whole life. He hadn't risen from the dead to show off his link to the Creator. He hadn't thought he was doing pole vaulting, or leaping up high. He was sticking to his loyalty and support of and for his friends. He understood that his friends were like all humans.
When he quizzed Peter-though it must have felt like grilling to Peter-he must have seen replaying in his mind's eye both the three denials and Peter's leaping into the sea. Peter was his friend, but he was also just like everyman. He didn't always make sense, especially when stressed. Jesus must have learned through that whole hard weekend that humans, all humans, get stressed. True, the stress Jesus felt was as ultimate as stress can be, but humans often feel that their own stress is their own ultimate test. Jesus now understood that that was an essence of humans. He understood that reality for humans, and so realized that he couldn't scold, blame, or judge Peter, or anyone else. Humans get stressed and act foolishly. What Jesus did want to know was: did Peter love him.
Jesus wanted reassurance that humans could really get over their fear, and return to their core beliefs. He needed to experience that people get over their vapors and return to the hard work of their lives. "Do you love me?" "Do you love me?" "Do you love me?" Then each of the instructions, were about staying in community and helping to nourish the community. "Feed, tend, feed" are metaphors for nurture, and that was to be the core for the survival of the movement and its individual humans. Jesus had to know that people could recover from their guilt and shame even right to his face, and return to their mission.
Peter was hurt and cranky to be asked three times by Jesus about whether he loved him. Three times. On some level each assurance or promise to Jesus that he did truly love him, must have felt like an undoing, a trampling on, one denial. He didn't get scolded or shouted at. Peter had three chances to undo his denials and he affirmed his love three times.
Jesus must have been relieved, happy, and confident that Peter could recover himself as a leader and a stalwart of the group. He must have been a little relieved that Jesus didn't yell at Peter, or shake him or say, "Why did you do that? How could you abandon me? Why were you so stupid?" He didn't say any of the human things we have each said, when we were disappointed or angry at someone who's let us down. Jesus didn't do that. Instead, he gave Peter the chance to show his affirmations were as strong as his denials. Three to three, and get on with life.
Jesus also shows that beyond mistakes are absolution, and better yet, new work of mission. Jesus indicates Peter's death, but ends saying "Follow me." Peter has been returned to the good graces of Jesus. He is reinstated in the group and is acknowledged as one of the team of followers. He is recognized as fully human. More, Jesus had learned that people have to learn and grow. Jesus understood how hard it is for people to hold on to beliefs, and he accepted that people keep trying. People do grow from childish behavior to adult, even Peter. Jesus learned that even with people he knew and loved, people disappoint, struggle along, disappoint again, and recover. Life's like that, but people can grow up.
Jesus' life as a human taught him much that God the Creator couldn't have felt in the sympathetic way Jesus had lived out that learning. Jesus saw Peter go through the stages of learning and believing, that all humans vacillate through. Peter came out even, but I imagine that Jesus knew that that denial/affirm, do-it-wrong/do-it-right seesaw just teeters along though everymans' lives, sometimes ending on the up, sometimes the down tilt. Jesus learned and understood that that's the way people are, and his work on the cross could never fix the seesaw. Instead, in this Gospel, Jesus demonstrates he genuinely accepts the humanity of humans, and that everyman is acceptable wherever we are in the cycle of trying to follow Jesus. We are each called to follow however flawed we are, and we are each always accepted in our following Jesus into the reign of God. Good News.
© Katharine C. Black April 18th, 2010
